So you're in love with Mr Right and he has children. You are thrown into the world of becoming a Stepum - sometimes almost instantly. It's a huge culture shock. Regular Mums have time to adjust to the idea of a child coming, throughout pregnancy, and seeing that child evolve from a tiny baby. As a new Stepmum - you may have a five year old stepchild to live with and get to know, having never had children yourself. But children are great and are very adaptable and you may have a new little friend, and that little friend may actually adore you quite quickly. So where's the problem with that? There are many many things that can happen when you first become a Stepmum and one of the main ones is - jealousies. Your Partner or Husband may suddenly feel a bit jealous that his child adores you, when he's been getting sole adoration as a single Dad. The Birth Mother may feel jealous that the child has another female role model in their lives and actually loves you. Sometimes it takes organisation and strategy to prevent these problems. Working out how to manage things. Some couples do - chlld time alone with Dad, child time alone with Stepmum, and time with all three of you together as a family unit. Fitting all that into a week-end does take some decision making, organisation and strategy.

Other issues that you may be dealing with are - you suddenly feel invisible to your Partner or Husband when your stepchild is there. Your Partner or Husband is just so happy to have his child with him for a night or a week-end. And you might even feel like a substitute for the child when they're not there.

These are all things that can have solutions and settle down, but you may well need help and support from those who have been there. It can feel like having two different lives - one when the child is there, one when they are away with just the two of you. Sometimes you're just a couple, and sometimes you're a little family unit. But you get used to that and it becomes a way of living.

Your partner or Husband loves his child/children - and he also loves you. Working it out is something we can help with on the forum. Feel free to ask questions or just have a rant!
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